A Wish for Ashley

I just returned after a weekend in Martha’s Vineyard with a new friend, my mom and my “fake stepdad.”  For many reasons, it was a great little escape.  After my last post on Find a Mixed Person, let me suggest that if you need practice, head to the Vineyard:  It’s like a mixed person mecca!   No Ashley sighted, unfortunately, but I have reason to be optimistic that she may be in the future.  Note to self: stop leaving your glasses in the car.  You may actually spot her from 30 feet away if you could see shapes that are 30 feet away. 

As of the end of last week, my mom and I received some very promising information from some ‘A Wish for Ashley’ helpers.  I apologize that I cannot go into detail about the nature of this lead (I promise, I will post the detailed update as soon as I have the ‘ok!’) but I will say that because of this lead, this weekend was the first time in a long time that I didn’t feel that achy, totally cliché, ‘a part of me is missing’ feeling (yeah, I promise the old me is vomiting that I am writing this; but c’mon people don’t judge- I’m grieving here!) that has settled in my stomach since Will left us on June 1st.  No, it wasn’t because I was filling that stomach vacancy with Lotsa Dough ice cream from Mad Martha’s (no, I think that all went straight to my thighs, not the empty pit in my stomach).  More so, it was the fact that instead my stomach was filled with certainty that we’re going to find Ashley… and perhaps sooner rather than later.  

Now, don’t read this wrong and think I’m trying to fill the void left by Will with the presence of Ashley.  You want to psychoanalyze me?  Oh no, don't even try it; I can run circles around you when it comes to psychobabble.  Just call me Dr. Phil.  On the contrary, I’m recognizing that family is what makes me feel whole, and Ashley has always been a part of that equation.  I don’t know what I would do without my mom’s spirit and all-around irrationality, Sister One’s optimism, emotion and consistency (she’s consistently slow... “as slow as molasses coming out of a jar”), Sister Two’s direct nature, abandon and attitude towards life (YEAH! Oh YEAH!) and Brother’s affection, mature insight and general ability to always be a loveable asshole.  Will with his charisma, sense of humor and compassion, has always taken a spot near my intestines, and Ashley, the little girl with the perspective, spirit and incredible capacity to love and inspire others, has held her own since her birth somewhere next to my spleen.  Is it any wonder I avoid doctors at all costs? There’s a party in my pelvis…what can you do?!!!  I’m not religious in any organized-sit-in-a-pew-on-a-Sunday sense, but I feel like everything that has transpired in the past three years has led us to this: finding the girl who, since February 20, 1988, was always in our hearts Sister Four.  

Thanks for all you’re doing to help grant this wish.  If we all keep it up, we will find her.

With love (and a stomach full of ice cream and butterflies as we get one step closer to finding Ashley),

Audra