When I first brought up the idea of A Wish for Ashley to Kayla, my middle sister, she responded, you know what you need? Troy Dunn! He has a show called The Locator! He’ll find her! I was skeptical.  First, because I had never seen the show. Second, because generally I am aware of any and all reality/trash TV shows out there- seriously, the late night episodes of ‘Cheaters’ got my Uncle Will, mom and I through many months of hospice homecare even Will would laugh… I may be dying of cancer but I didn’t just stumble upon my girlfriend sleeping with my son!  Yeah, major trash, but it was serious cancer therapy. Don’t judge- so if I haven’t heard about a show, it must be way into the spectrum of bootleg reality entertainment.  Therefore I told Kayla yeah sure, The Locator… and promptly ruled out the suggestion.  

As A Wish for Ashley gained visibility, it seemed every fourth email from a supporter used a template:  (Dear/To/Hi) Audra, I read about your search for Ashley in (insert publication here).  I think that (insert kind words of encouragement here).  Have you heard about the show The Locator?  You should (email/contact) Troy Dunn.  Best of luck in your search! Those who were truly intrepid went one step further to indicate ‘I have contacted the show on your behalf.’   I was skeptical.  Ok, I take that back, downright judgmental.  You’re telling me that this random TV show, that I don’t even know about – therefore it must be slime- is going to solve all my problems? YEAH RIGHT!  But thanks for your support!  However, instead of lashing out, I did what any 25-year-old driving a national search for her missing cousin would do: I created a gmail filter. Criteria?  'Send to archive any email containing the words “The Locator.”'  Now when I signed into the A Wish for Ashley email account those template emails were nicely stashed away in the ‘The Locator’ file.  And if we’re going for total disclosure here I’ll admit: the emails in ‘The Locator’ file were the very first ones I delegated out to Ashley Helpers to respond to:  Thanks for your support (insert name here)!  We have heard about The Locator and right now we’re hesitant to take that route but we’ll let you know if we do take your suggestion!. We appreciate your support!  Sincerely, (name of Ashley Helper here).  Translation: thanks for your suggestion, and because Audra hasn’t seen the show and has decided to judge it sight unseen and is annoyed that everyone thinks he/she is the first one to suggest it we’re ignoring you.  Or rather, we’re acknowledging you with a template email with lots of exclamation points, which, essentially, is the equivalent of ignoring you.  

So now I’m in a weird place.  Through someone’s email, The Locator- well not Troy but shall we call them Troy’s minions?- is now in communication with me.  And I’m undecided.  Add to that I still haven’t seen the show and so, I’m still operating with near to total ignorance.  His minions sent me a long questionnaire full of all kinds of questions ‘what would you say if reunited?’ ‘what do you want her to know’ ‘how has your life been altered by her absence’- it was like writing a dissertation of cheese and I don’t do cheese.  But I also know what connects people heartfelt truth and what alienates them sarcastic blogs like this one- sorry guys, I swear I’m not this cynical… well… so I delivered on the dissertation. 

Then they called me back to say that as the next step in the process they want me to make a 5-8 minute video “talking to Troy” and telling him why this is important.  Now I’ve decided to judge again.  As you know I hate being the A Wish for Ashley spokesperson.  There is no need for videos of my wavering voice to be captured for any reason.  Seriously.  Now, A Wish for Ashley copywriter? That I can do.  I write.  But I don’t speak.  Not unless absolutely necessary. And now you want me to create a video and speak to… Troy?!  This is not the way to convince me that this Locator thing is the way to go.   

I haven’t decided whether to go forward with this; there’s a lot to consider.  This short video could potentially lead to more video.    Can I get over myself to do that for the purpose of finding Ashley?  Ashley may be really, really put off by being approached by this Troy guy no offense Troy. I still haven’t seen your show. But reality TV is reality TV. Hmmm…and I don’t want the manner in which she is found to influence her decision to communicate with us.  I’m at a loss. Is this the way to go?  Would he be able to communicate to her what happened, to explain, and then let her make her decision about whether or not to communicate- once she knows the truth?  I don’t know. 

So, friends, all of you to whom I have now told the truth- that I relegated your Locator emails to cyber oblivion- please forgive me.  And if you do, I’d love to hear your thoughts (via the Comment feature, or the 'information' email account- I promise I won't filter you out).   Here's your chance to convince ol’ judgmental me that we should go forward with this.  In the meantime, I’m going to go watch Cheaters.  Because really, these choices will seem a lot less stressful once I can say, well, at least my boyfriend isn’t cheating on me with my best friend.  And before I meet my sarcastic match with a reader who responds ‘Yeah? How do you know?’ I will add to the record Boyfriend is in Ghana.  Best Friend is in Connecticut.  HA!   

With love (really people, I do love! I’m just very sarcastic! Character flaw…), 

Audra
 


Comments

Kisha
11/13/2009 14:09

think its a good show,they seem to be good at finding people, though how many applications for help and how many they find isnt advertised... There is also a new one starting on ABC called "Find my Family" maybe you could check that one out as well. For more information or to apply please contact at missingfamily@rrstaff.com.

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Jess
11/13/2009 17:23

Hey Audra!

Although I do watch my share of reality tv, I haven't seen that show unfortunately. Regardless tho, I think that if it brings you any closer to finding her it's a good idea. Ya, maybe they may present your story to her in a way different than you would have, but they will give her all of your information and tell her how much you want to meet her, and ultamately try to persuade her to meet you, so they get to air the episode. (Otherwise they just put a bunch of work in for free). At least if they find her, she knows you're out there looking for her. And who knows, maybe it will be the way you do find her! I think this honestly would be a good opportunity.

Good luck, and see you over Christmas!

Jess

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Jackie
11/22/2009 16:39

Hi Audra,

I've only watched The Locator a handful of times. However, Troy always seems to be sure each party involved feels comfortable with what is going to happen. I think he usually speaks with the "found" person on the phone first, the meets with them...then kind of surprises the person looking with the "found" person. So in the end, yes, it is still a reality show and there is that certain drama to it that they probe for...but I think they do it as respectful as possible.

Either way, good luck with the decision and finding your cousin Ashley : )

Jaclyn

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